I was on the train when a man sat across from me and stared at me. It wasn't the usual look, the kind that glides absentmindedly across strangers' faces on public transportation. No, this one was focused.

Desislava laughed bitterly.
– A deal? You don’t make deals with these people. They will eat you alive. The only way to get out of this is to shine a light on it. To bring it out into the open.

“But if you do, you will destroy Peter!
” “And what did he do to you?” she asked sharply. “He used you, he put you in mortal danger, he lied to you. How much longer are you willing to forgive him? Sometimes, Annie, you have to amputate a limb to save the body. Maybe it’s time to save yourself.”

Her words were cruel, but I knew there was truth in them.
“Give me the documents,” Desislava continued. “I’ll scan them. I’ll make copies. I’ll hide them in dozens of different places in the cloud. And then I’ll publish the story. I’ll run it in several international media outlets at once. I’ll cause such a scandal that neither Ivaylo nor his patrons in the police and government will be able to hush it.”

“And Peter?” I asked again, like a drowning man grasping for a straw.

She looked at me sympathetically.
“I’ll try to make it look like he’s more of a complicit under duress than a major player. It might help him get a lighter sentence. But I can’t promise you anything. He broke the law. He has to face the consequences. And you have to decide whether you’re going to continue to sink with him or whether you’re going to float.”

She was right. I had to choose. Loyalty to the man I loved, or my own survival and morality. Did love mean following him into the abyss? Or letting him fall, hoping that one day he could climb back up?

“Okay,” I said, the words stuck in my throat. “Do it. Publish everything.”

A spark flashed in Desislava's eyes – the flame of a journalist who has smelled the big story, but also the flame of a friend who sees that I have finally chosen myself.
– This is the right decision, Ani. It will be difficult, but you will manage. And now, first we have to hide you. I have a place. No one will ever think to look for you there.

Chapter 10